Yalli Soo (a motivational song for those engaged in eskimo spiricide)
by Thomas Lipschultz 10/10/01

It's nighttime in Alaska and the cold is feeling numb,
and an eskimo named Utut is out purchasing some rum
when he looks into an igloo and he sees another two
staring back, the light refractions of a neighboring igloo,
and he sees the acid rain bouncing off the treasury,
seeping down the padlocked doors as if in ancient reverie,
and a woman, wearing little, comes to greet him at the door,
and he knows, without conviction, that she's nothing but a whore --

Utut wraps the chambermaid's head in lace and sees the igloo in igloo's face and
asks the weather if he is pret-ty

And seeing brine on the side of a vault he yells real loud for the rest of the cult and
asks them all to get themselves rea-dy

for to-day is the rest of their lives as they spill their blood with cheap plastic knives
into a friggin' huge plastic urn-y thing

and prod their predecessor's floating fetuses with blaring scaring little glowing "beatuses,"
a type of thing which is a giant burn-y thing

Then up comes the sun, yalli hoeyhoey yalli hey,
and the ceremony's done, yalli hoeyhoey yalli hey,
and the eskimos undone, yalli sagasaga yalli soo.
Here they come, yalli soo. Here they come.

It's daytime in Alaska and the eskimos undone,
and that eskimo named Utut has no need for all his rum,
so I stole it from his corpse and went into a factory
where I polished off the bottle with last-drop exactory,
but then I saw a floating figure standing near the old boutique,
spewing fire from his nostrils and black oil from his beak,
and I knew that it was Utut come to kill me for my plight
but I'd never give my life to him without a decent fight!

So here comes the fun, yalli hoeyhoey yalli hey,
for this battle shall be won, yalli hoeyhoey yalli hey,
old Utut will be undone, yalli sagasaga yalli soo.
Here he comes, yalli soo. Here he comes.