I Can Save Time In a Bottle

     I know it sounds unreasonable, but I can save time in a bottle. I didn't know about this at
first, but once I learned of it, my thoughts naturally drifted back to that Jim Croce song: "the first
thing that I'd like to do is to save every day 'til eternity passes away, just to spend them with
you." And I thought to myself, well, that's all well and good, but I'm single and lonely. And
rather than saving every day just to spend them with someone I might meet somewhere along the
line, I decided to just save my sleep time in a bottle. That way, I'd amass a pretty large collection
of time rather quickly, and be so insane from lack of sleep that I could think of a really fun and
mischievous usage for it.
     But you know what sucks? After only four days without sleep, I thought I was Napoleon,
and smashed the bottle on my ship, the U.S.S. Honda Civic. 48-odd hours spilled out into the
road, and caused some major traffic accidents.