THE GATES by Thomas Lipschultz 12/09/97 It was a catfish, I think. And this one in particular decided to take a swim up to the top of the aquarium, amidst the floating food particles dropped by the bionic timing device. There were far too many, as usual. That's why all the fish were dying. But nobody cared: after all, emotions were a thing of the past! The catfish saw its master standing above the aquarium with his big round lenses and his bionic arm. A computer- synthesized voice came from the figure, attempting to speak with the catfish in fish-language. "I have come to fix the feeder," the figure tried to say. But the fish heard it as, "I have some chew sticks to bequeath." This was puzzling, but of course the figure didn't understand emotional reactions, so he just assumed the fish understood and proceeded to work on the feeder. A few days after its completion, the catfish noticed that not enough food was ever available for all the fishes. Within three years, the domesticated fish population of the world was extinct. Only the catfish remained, because its master fed it by hand like they used to in the olden days. The catfish's master was the only one left who hadn't become completely bionic, so he was still capable of rational individual thought. Unfortunately, he was also responsible for the messy state of the world. Through his monopolizing, he took over the world slowly but surely, making it virtually impossible to live without cyborg implants. The rights of the individual no longer mattered: only the rights of the collective remained; like the Borg, but much less organized. Humanity obviously didn't survive this way. It didn't take long before Bill Gates was the only person left alive.