On the Death of a Snack Food One Day in the Park by Thomas Lipschultz 3/15/2000 Allow me to explain It really wasn't my fault The sandwich wasn't wrapped And when I sneezed it came so fast I hadn't time to react And so the sandwich has been marked Uneatable and gross With meat that's clean and grand and fine But very soggy toast And so I'll buy another for you If you so desire Just tell me what to put on it And how long I may dawdle And I will go to Meatman Max Who lives next door to me And knowing him, he'll throw a fit But replace the snack for free But oh, if this held sentimental price I cannot pay for that And so I offer merely my Condolences and the like For Sandy Sandwich, dear departed Open-faced, open-hearted First I sneezed, then I farted Truly I am unrefined Sometimes it just blows my mind