HARRY HOODLUM'S UNFORTUNATE IRONY by Thomas Lipschultz 1/12/99 Harry Hoodlum counterfits He really is quite good He prints and prints and prints and prints A lot more than he should He goes to Sears and buys a lot Of TV/VCRs Then goes downtown to Shady Sam's And buys sixteen used cars He thinks he got away with it His forgery is skilled And happy is he with his stuff So happy he gets killed "But wait," you say, "I missed something! How did he meet his fate?" Just sit back now and listen, you, His story I'll relate It seems that Shady Sam was poor Before this man stopped by And bought sixteen used Cadillacs With great big pricetags high Ol' Shady was a jolly sort And thought he'd spend his cash To get himself a home-cooked meal At Muffy's House of Hash He used the money Harry gave To pay for his cuisine Then bought himself a chauffeur home In a fancy limousine The next day Harry Hoodlum found He craved kartoffel stew So Muffy's House of Hash, he thought, Was just what he should do He drove on over and ate a lot And paid with hard-earned cash But broke a twenty and got his change From Shady Sam's fake stash He took a limmo home like Sam And paid the driver well And once again he got his change In money-printed cels Earlier he had called ahead To order cable TV And Mad Dog Max was sent to him To set it up "for free" He did quite well and flicked it on Revealing HBO So Harry paid him heftily Then saw his anger grow "You foolish man, what do you think, Was yesterday I born? This cash is fake, you little fink, And now you feel my scorn!"