Happenings by Thomas Lipschultz 3/2/99, 3/4/99 It happens that Dmitri died in sitcom A / soap opera B. Last week they told me of his fate where Billy shoots him in the chest. (Those writers know just how to write to get me teary-eyed and white.) And I just know he could have lived! I wonder what will happen now? It happens that tonight I saw a rerun from some time ago. Dmitri goes and sleeps around with Jaquelina's mistresses. (Those actors know just how to act to anger with their lack of tact.) And I considered telling him... I wonder what would happen then? It happens that I stepped right in to their domain, like Pleasantville. Dmitri stopped and looked at me, unhappy with my timing skills. (Romantic leads don't like to be disturbed while having sex, you see.) And then I told him everything. I wonder what will happen next? It happens that he grew afraid, uneasy in regards to death. And then he stopped and yelled at me, and bid me take my leave of him. (These people know just what to say to make the strongest man obey.) But something was preventing me. I wonder what was happening?