Merely a Chat Thomas Lipschultz 5/3/00 I harbor no ill-will toward you, friend. I merely wish to chat a while. You think I am your enemy? That merely is denial. Ignore the hand I hold at my side. We'll merely chat, if that's alright. It can be for just a few hours Or it can take us the rest of the night. Either way, to chat is best, So let us merely think of a topic. Last night my plane got back From somewhere in the tropics! But friend, you look a bit disturbed! I merely wish to chat. Come on now, have you any dogs, Or any sort of cat? I merely hope to know you better And merely wish to see Just merely how you merely merely Feel about mere me. But ho, my friend, your eyes do wander Merely so they do, You're staring at my thigh, I see, Where the rabid dogs did chew. But whoa, my friend, I feel not well. In fact, I feel quite bad. This friendship we've established Is making me quite mad. You have a pleasant jugular I merely wish to nibble, So don't you worry, merely me, You sit, you shake, you quibble! Ah but how my thoughts do change As I feel my radiating thigh Nibble? HAH! You pathetic fool, You resemble a mere french fry! Glurple snarl chew chew chomp, You scream, you do, you scream! I the eater, and you, my meal -- We make a smashing team!