PEARL BANNISTERS by Thomas Lipschultz 1/11/98 "Yes, Sir. He had his name officially changed to Kenneth God. Records show that his former name was Kenneth Priest. Many of his records are missing, so we're not sure whether or not that was his birth name." Tony raised his eyebrows and gave a little chuckle. "Sounds a whole hell of a lot more believable than Kenneth God, that's for sure. The guy sounds like a nut to me either way, though. Why is it that all the nuts have all the smarts?" Tony Eckert was a theology teacher in a nearby school, though no one was quite sure which one. He was the one who called the meeting between himself, his lawyer, and Kenneth God's only son Mark. Mark was the one who spoke next. "My father... may have had a few screws loose, I'll admit that much. But his sanity isn't the question here. He was a scientist, pure and simple. He invented something, and he specifically stated in his will that he wanted me to test it out in the event of his death. And I'd say it's safe to assume that he's dead." "Perhaps," said the lawyer, "but there's no proof of his demise. All we found was some blood. His body completely vanished without a trace. Therefore, his will isn't even an issue here." By now, Tony was fuming. "Even if he IS dead, why the hell would ANYONE test this thing? The guy claims that he invented humanity, for cryin' out loud! And as if that alone didn't prove his insanity, he then claimed to have invented a time machine! He was playing God, or trying to anyway. And I believe that what you're asking is for me to accept that... and I just can't do it. God is God. Kenneth God is not." "And who are YOU to make that proclamation? How do you know that he really ISN'T God? Maybe both of his inventions really work. And if they do, then humanity's roots can be traced back to MY FATHER. And if my father invented humanity, then wouldn't that make him God? And... wouldn't that make ME Jesus?" There was a long pause. Nobody said anything. Nobody moved. After about a minute, the lawyer looked at his watch, then immediately restored himself to his previous state. He respected that Mark and Tony were trying to solve their differences in private rather than in a courtroom. But could he really make a judgment here? All of a sudden, Tony started talking again. He was very silent at first, but then steadily gained in dynamics until he was yelling. "You gonna change your name to Jesus God now? Huh? Maybe go all the way and change it to Jesus Christ? Huh? YOU GONNA CHANGE YOUR NAME LIKE YOUR SCHITZO FATHER? HUH? You sicken me, Mark. God didn't just create humanity. God created EVERYTHING. Almost every religion believes in a god or gods. The universe had to start somewhere!" Silence. Another minute passed. "I... I'm sorry. I was out of line. But this whole situation really frustrates me. I mean, even if that invention DOES work, is it really safe? Couldn't it screw up the timeline and make us all frogmen... or something?" "No, I don't think so. After all, if that invention really works and is really gonna be tested out, its effect already happened. Sounds like a contradiction, but it DOES make sense... if you think about it." Once again, everyone was silent. It was obvious that they were all lost in thought. Some decisions are easier than others. But in this case, the lawyer's decision could possibly have a major effect on religion. Tony and Mark could each influence the lawyer with words, a very human invention, and so were each trying to come up with the best possible argument. Finally, Tony spoke again. "If humanity originated from an invention built by a human being, then who created that human being? Surely he could not have been ultimately born by the machine he invented. That's a pure impossibility." Mark barely even hesitated at this question, much to the surprise of all involved parties. "Then that suggests that he wasn't created by the machine. Perhaps a deity, a God's God, created him. After all, no one has been able to locate his birth records, and his body was never found. Perhaps he was born a god and died a god. And during his life, he built a pearl bannister. It's up to us to move it and reshape it into the pearly gates of Heaven. If we don't, who will?" "GOD WILL! Not Kenneth God, but GOD God! Why the hell would God create a human and tell him to build humanity? That wouldn't make ANY sense. And God forbid that person succeeds..." After his long silence, the lawyer finally spoke: "Well, man has already succeeded in cloning. We can already create life. And Orson Wells has already built a time machine that SHOULD have worked. Maybe Mark's father figured out how to combine the two technologies. And since Mark owns the machine, for all intents and purposes, he has every legal right to operate it. This problem is more of a moral issue than a legal one. Kenneth God held every available license to perform these kinds of experiments, and Mark God has the same licenses. I'm afraid I can't stop him, Mr. Eckert. He's beyond the reach of the long arm of the law. If he wants to rip apart some pearly bannisters and make gates out of them, I can't stop him. I just hope that somebody does..." Mark grinned. "At long last, I can find out if I hold true to my name! Father, I will make you proud! I just wonder what truly happened to you. How did you die, father? Where are you now?" Tony answered him. "Probably in hell, where he belongs. And if you activate his machine, all of humanity may follow his lead. I think I've figured it out. Kenneth God is a deity... but not the one you're thinking of, Mark. You've got your eyes in the sky, but I'm just watching my feet. I wanna know when they fall..."