AVOIDING AMY (is a good idea!) by Thomas Lipschultz 10/25/98 Her name was Amy, and her boyfriend of years Just knocked at her door to bring her some beers. She opened it up, but to her surprise, That ill-fated man would meet his demise. There he stood, attached to a sheet Made of pure cardboard, length 80 feet, Astoundingly long, and still just as high. And very soon after, the wind made him die. It lifted him high, far up off the ground, And later in mid-Mozambique he was found, Smashed to a pulp when he fought with a twister, His last thought of Amy, and how much he missed her. Well Amy was grieving, that much was true, But very soon after, she found someone new. She was very excited: he'd be stopping by soon. And when she heard the doorbell, it was just about noon. She opened it up, and was greeted with screams, For by an astounding coincidence it seems This new guy was also attached to cardboard. She thought to herself, "Oh dear merciful Lord!" She thought very fast and ran to the shed, For this guy she was DETERMINED to keep undead. She grabbed a pair of scissors and ran back outside, But unfortunately, that poor guy had already died. This happened again and again and again, In fact it occurred sixteen times since then. And then she concluded that she must be cursed, But that's when she heard the atomic bomb burst.